Quatroterrae Toyotasaurus
This is the land of the Landcruiser - Landcruiserland? -
more big, white, tricked out behemoths than aspired to by a whole 'hood of
sneering hip hop wannabees. Seriously,
this town has so many Landcruisers that with a couple of coats of desert camo
they'd be ready to invade, well, maybe the next oasis. It's a mystery to me, really, as the men you
meet - and they are the drivers - are
generally friendly, soft-spoken and courteous.
Getting behind the wheel must release some inner Vin Diesel as they
devolve into a perfect example of the Darwinian principle on four wheels. Four wheel drive Darwin.
Now imagine that you're reading this in the breathless tones
of a David Attenborough: The everyday scene of conflict is the roundabout and
as they act as the traffic control at every intersection there's opportunity
enough to observe the basic tactics of intimidation. First of all, unless in immediate danger of
collision, they never stop at the
line. This is taken as a sign of
weakness and will evoke a riot of dismissive horn blowing from those behind. This is the same derisive chorus that greets
the driver who is more than a second late in pulling away from the light. Sometimes these Toyotasaurs will bellow a challenge
just for the hell of it. Occasionally
conflict spills over into the waterholes, sorry, gas stations as they jockey
for position at the pumps. Apart from
its basic white hide the Landcruiser comes with a wide variety of secondary
markings, mostly along the flanks. The
purpose of these markings is not clearly understood, but it may be something to
do with mating.
Around these brontosaur equivalents roar the velociraptors
of this prehistoric world, the Mercedes, tricked out by AMG, the Porsche Cayennes
and the occasional Corvette looking for all the world like a land based
trilobite.
Me, I drive a Yaris.
I like to think of the Yari as the analogue of the early mammals,
scurrying around the edges, keeping out of the way and getting to evolve into
something smarter. Just as long as we
don't get stepped on by something big and heedless.
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